I decided to do my best to agree with reality for one month, from April 8 to May 8, 2018. So today is day four of no arguments. My preferences align with What Is. For one month, I will not put myself in conflict with God. I’ve even gone so far as to respond to events with the thought, “This is the best thing that ever happened.”
I (as Kathleen) don’t always feel my heart is in this. But I’m disregarding Kathleen’s view of things for the month. Taking this on for just a month doesn’t feel too daunting. If “loving what is” proves to be too much effort or makes me feel oppressed, then I’m free to return to my old programming on May 9.
I’m not directly imposing this on others. The other day, my husband complained that the contractor who repaired our deck billed us over the estimate. My thought was that the contractor was destined to have that money, and I’m glad that we support his work and his family. But to my husband I only said, “That’s too bad, but at least he did a good job.” Prior to “the surrender experiment,” I might have said only, “That’s too bad.” So I notice that simply thinking in agreement with what is does translate into more positive speech as well.
I’ve had three injuries this winter, the latest being last week when I jammed my “bad” knee. It will likely takes months to settle down, plus there is the fear that I may have messed up the surgical repairs (ACL and meniscus replaced a few years ago). Best thing that ever happened! My heart’s not really loving this occurrence, but again, I’m not paying much heed to Kathleen’s default programming. After all, the point of this exercise is to recondition the mind’s patterns. So, let’s say it again: The best thing that ever happened!
This contrary thinking is actually is helping. Most of the day I’m busy and not thinking about my knee, but when I settle down and a wave of dread washes over me, I remind Myself that the feelings and fears of an imaginary character are...imaginary. And, for this month, at least, I am rejecting the realm of imagination, and devoting myself to reality. So I set aside the fear. It wasn’t very useful anyway, really.
As a spiritual seeker/finder, I am dedicated to reality. I love reality. I trust reality. I desire to see truth directly. I desire clarity. Inspiring words! But my “surrender experiment” reveals that I have quite a bit of resistance to living in truth, to living as truth. So I continue to practice. All that arises is the best possible arising for this moment. For today, I believe that. For today, I know that. For today, the sun is bright.